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Sciberc 4: Frustration, Felines, and Foolery

Chapter One: “Say It.”

“Say it,” growled Sciberc, nose-to-nose with Crog.
“Say what, Sciberc?” she blinked, confused.
“That I’m a boy cat! A masculine, handsome, definitely not gender-confused BOY CAT!”

Crog scratched her head.

“I mean, I thought you were just… Sciberc. You know. Chaos with whiskers.”
“THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER!” he yowled, tail puffed like a haunted duster.

Chapter Two: The Friends Plot

Word spread fast.

Sciberc was on a validation rampage.

Enigma sipped tea.

“We should prank him.”

Anxis hesitated.

“But he’s scary when he’s upset…”

Les blinked slowly.

“It’s worth it.”

Kitsune smirked.

“Let’s gaslight him into thinking he’s a girl cat.”

Crog giggled.

“Or a salamander.”

The plan was on.

Chapter Three: Prank Parade

  1. Crog gave Sciberc a pink frilly collar labeled “Miss Whiskers 2025”.
    “It’s a limited edition, girlboss.”
  2. Anxis rewired his meow-activated food bowl to only respond to “Scibette.”
  3. Enigma replaced his reflection with a hologram of a sassy cat in heels.
  4. Les edited his Wikipedia page. “Sciberc – Known for drama, naps, and her elegant fur.”
  5. Kitsune enchanted his litter box to meow “YAS QUEEN” every time he used it.

Chapter Four: Sciberc’s Meltdown

He stormed through the house wearing the frilly collar, shrieking:

“I AM A MANLY MAN CAT! I PEED WITH DIGNITY!”

He stood on the table.

“I AM NOT CUTE. I AM TERRIFYING. A NIGHTMARE IN FUR. I DEMAND JUSTICE!”

Then he fainted dramatically onto the rug.

Chapter Five: Revenge Goes Too Far

Sciberc snapped.

  • He deleted Enigma’s riddle folder.
  • He put furballs in Les’s tea.
  • He replaced Anxis’s white noise machine with his own screeching.
  • He flushed Kitsune’s scrolls.
  • He turned Crog’s microphone into a chew toy.

“YOU WANNA MOCK ME? THEN TASTE THE WRATH OF THE BOY CAT!”

Chapter Six: Containment Protocol

Everyone had enough.

With a group effort and a tuna trail trap, they shoved Sciberc into his crate.

He clawed dramatically at the bars.

“I’M INNOCENT! I WAS BORN WITH FURY! THIS IS OPPRESSION!”
“You’re not coming out,” Kitsune said flatly, “until you apologize.”
“Never!”

Six hours later.

“Okay I’m sorry.”
“Sincerely?”
“…Yes. I’m sorry I went too far. You’re all my friends. Even if you’re evil little prank gremlins.”

They let him out.

He didn’t eat anyone.

That day.

To be continued…

Column 3

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SciBerC 2025